Another loss to our family

Today I received a phone call from another foster and adoptive parent. It was not a friendly call. Our first foster son had siblings that had been adopted out and this friend was the adoptive mother to his twin sisters. She called to let me know that Kathem's (our foster son)mother - Brandi - had passed away last night at 11 PM in Jordan. Brandi was very special to us. After Kathem went back to her she was in our lives for more than 3 years. We had her other son with us by her choice -meaning we had both boys - a lot of the time. Many of you know these boys. I loved Brandi with all of my heart and we did all we could to help her with her addictions and problems. Sadly we couldn't save her and it was tough for me to learnt hat I cannot save everyone! But she went to Jordan to be with her husband's family because he thought taking her over there would get her away from drugs and help her get better. But instead she found other addictions, legal pain killers, valium, alcohol. Her furnace blew up and because she was intoxicated she fell into the fire. She suffered burns all over her and lost 4 fingers and was placed into an induced coma. She lost her daughter that she was 8 months pregnant with and then died. We are grieving the loss of her and praying for her fmaily and her 3 children that she still had custody of. Her other 5 children had been taken by social services and adopted. Kourtnee and I had just been saying that we hoped we ran into her or something so we could tell her about Alex getting married and about his little boy and especially about her having a baby girl! But now we realize that we will never run into her and we will never again have the chance to say we love her! It is just a reminder that life is fragile and if you have someone you love tell them! Tell them everyday! Don't hold grudges - let them go! Forgive, forget and love!!! No, I did not have a grudge against her of course not, but I just know that I can never tell her I lovee her again and because of a situation with Social Services that kept us from being there for her and her kids in the end and the relationship had to end the way it did it hurts! I loved her and I can never make sure she knew that! Everyone tells me that she did know and that I did all I could and that some people just do not want help, but it doesn't really help right now! My pain is deep! She was a hurting woman and we wanted so much to see her healed! I hope that she found that peace before she left and made things right with God and is now in THE place of peace!!!! Brandi used to come to our house all the time - stayed with us many nights! But rather she was with us for a night, a few days, or even a few minutes she would always ask us - no make us :) sing a song for you - that song was THE ANCHOR HOLDS! She would cry the whole time and then hug us. We spent time in prayer with her many nights and she would go to church with us and just cry! I know she loved the Lord and I believe she made things right and is with HIM now. I love you Brandi and you will be forever missed!!!!!

Valentine's day

Today was Sydnee Renee's First Valentine's Day! She is so precious!!! She is laying on my lap as I type this! Grand children are such a joy!!! I love her more with each passing day!!!!!!!
Larry and I went to a banquet at church tonight and had a wonderful time! But the our wonderful time begins about 2 tomorrow afternoon!!!! We will be taking a short vacation for our anniversary!!!! Just the 2 of us!!!! Cannot wait!!! There are a lot of things going on right now that I am not free to blog about, but just keep our family in your prayers for great opportunities!!! I hope that each of youa re with someone you love for this special little holiday! I know that since we have children we still try to always go out on this date, but it is also a special day to show the kids an extra special love with little gifts and candy! The kids love it! Every holiday around here is done to the hilt so to say!! I do have news about the 2 little girls - we will not be adoptiong them. We are sad and hurt for them especially so please keep them in your prayers!!!!! They will be here until a forever family is found though! I just pray that we can put all the love that we have into them while they are here and let them see how special and wonderful and completely lovable they truly are. We are going to try to stay a part of their lives if they are adopted locally!!! We feel that maybe God closed this door for us to focus more on our grand kids now and the kdis we have already adopted! I know as I llok into the face of my precious grand daughter right now I am moved to tears with the love I have for her and her mommy!!!! I am truly blessed and I know that God lvoes me and he loves Keara and Brianna and will always have them in His hands no matter who they are calling mommy and daddy! We are sad as I said, but more for them and the hurt they will feel, but we also have a peace that God is still in control!!!
happy Valentine's Day to all! Hae a wonderful weekend - I know I am going to :)!!!!!

Heartbreak has hit our family

Thursday night was a night we will not soon forget but will hate to remember! Dusty died last night! Dusty was the 2 nd horse we acquired, but the first horse that everyone rode! He has been THE FAMILY HORSE!!! Anyone could ride Dusty and the entire family has ridden him with the exception of Sydnee Renee'! I hate that we did not get a picture with her near Dusty! He was the kindest gentlest horse ever! I had finally been able to claim him as my horse because Marlee got another barrel racing horse and we were able to retire him. He had my trust completely! I am not sure if we will find another horse that we will all be able to trust like we have Dusty! He was so awesome! We are very glad that he did not die alone though. Marlee, Larry and I were all with him last night when he went to Heaven! Yes, I believe that is where he is because what would Heaven be like without animals especially horses! He is running in the greenest pastures ever, frolicking and playing like never before! No more pain, no more choking! We will forever remember Dusty and grieve our loss, but we will also know that he loved us and gave us his all and we gave him all we had and even to the very end he knew how much we loved him! Dusty was not just a pet, not JUST a horse, he was FAMILY! He was truly a friend to so many! He will never be forgotten and we will never stop loving him!
Me and Dusty riding with Marlee and Checotah
RIP Dusty - I love you, baby, forever!! Thank you for giving so much to us!!!

Wednesday - what a day!

Well, Larry got a job today Praise the Lord! And it is a good one! Close to home and they are going to give him a gas allowance on top of his pay. They are even going to give him more than what he asked for and a raise in 90 days! God is so good!!! They are also a laid back company and told him family comes first so anytime he needs off they are extremely flexible and he can take the day without pay if he does not have time or he can make it up on a Saturday or work late or however he chooses to do it! What a blessing! We are thrilled! I am a little sad that he will not be home anymore during the day with us, but we do need the insurance and the income! I will miss him though. I thought that I would be sick of him being home and that he would drive me crazy but that has not been the case at all!!!! We are going to spend the weekend together next week for our anniversary and that is so awesome! Cannot wait!!! everything else is going well other than the whole ordeal with the girls. We are meeting with the adoption supervisor on friday morning so keep that in your prayers! That is it for tonight - I am tired! Will try to write more tomorrow!
God bless you all!!!
Go Mike Huckabee!!!