Another loss to our family

Today I received a phone call from another foster and adoptive parent. It was not a friendly call. Our first foster son had siblings that had been adopted out and this friend was the adoptive mother to his twin sisters. She called to let me know that Kathem's (our foster son)mother - Brandi - had passed away last night at 11 PM in Jordan. Brandi was very special to us. After Kathem went back to her she was in our lives for more than 3 years. We had her other son with us by her choice -meaning we had both boys - a lot of the time. Many of you know these boys. I loved Brandi with all of my heart and we did all we could to help her with her addictions and problems. Sadly we couldn't save her and it was tough for me to learnt hat I cannot save everyone! But she went to Jordan to be with her husband's family because he thought taking her over there would get her away from drugs and help her get better. But instead she found other addictions, legal pain killers, valium, alcohol. Her furnace blew up and because she was intoxicated she fell into the fire. She suffered burns all over her and lost 4 fingers and was placed into an induced coma. She lost her daughter that she was 8 months pregnant with and then died. We are grieving the loss of her and praying for her fmaily and her 3 children that she still had custody of. Her other 5 children had been taken by social services and adopted. Kourtnee and I had just been saying that we hoped we ran into her or something so we could tell her about Alex getting married and about his little boy and especially about her having a baby girl! But now we realize that we will never run into her and we will never again have the chance to say we love her! It is just a reminder that life is fragile and if you have someone you love tell them! Tell them everyday! Don't hold grudges - let them go! Forgive, forget and love!!! No, I did not have a grudge against her of course not, but I just know that I can never tell her I lovee her again and because of a situation with Social Services that kept us from being there for her and her kids in the end and the relationship had to end the way it did it hurts! I loved her and I can never make sure she knew that! Everyone tells me that she did know and that I did all I could and that some people just do not want help, but it doesn't really help right now! My pain is deep! She was a hurting woman and we wanted so much to see her healed! I hope that she found that peace before she left and made things right with God and is now in THE place of peace!!!! Brandi used to come to our house all the time - stayed with us many nights! But rather she was with us for a night, a few days, or even a few minutes she would always ask us - no make us :) sing a song for you - that song was THE ANCHOR HOLDS! She would cry the whole time and then hug us. We spent time in prayer with her many nights and she would go to church with us and just cry! I know she loved the Lord and I believe she made things right and is with HIM now. I love you Brandi and you will be forever missed!!!!!